Posts tagged ftm

How Does one address IGNORANCE?

So, something has been bothering me a bit:
I took a fabulous new friend of mine (who happens to be mtf) to a favorite bar of mine for some karaoke last week, and after being there for ~2 hours, one of the regulars comes up to me and says, “Hey, is that a chick or a dude?” (as if, it’s even polite to ask), but this guy was ignorant to the facts anyway, so I answered, “She’s a chick.” to which he replied, “Really? How come she sounds like a dude?” To which I answered/questioned, “Well Bea Arthur sounded like a dude too, and some male singers have higher voices than I do. Does voice level determine gender?” He stopped for a moment and pondered, then asked, “What are her genitals?” At this point, I am livid, but I do not show it, and I calmly respond with, “I have no idea what her genitals look like. I have not been intimate with her. If I asked you what your genitals looked like and told you that I didn’t believe you and needed to see in order to know whether to call you a ‘he’ or a ‘she’ would you be offended? And if I were to tell you that, in fact, I have both a small penis and a vagina as genitals, and those really don’t define my gender, would you demand to see them?” He then looked me straight in the eye and said, “so, you’re a hermaphrodite?” At this point, I put my hand up, and looked away, stating, “I am no longer taking questions. Go sit down and sip your drink. You annoy me.”
What is bothering me is: 1. should I have even wasted my breath and answered this cis-guy? and 2. Since I did answer, do you think I handled it okay? Should I have tried to further explain things about gender to this guy, or did I stop at the right time?

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A fashion show to help raise money for the Philly Trans*March 2012. (I will be one of the sexy MALE models….

My Tmate video…. what it’s like to be the partner of someone in transition.

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Saying goodbye to your old self after/during transitioning

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I got Sir’d at the party last night and my friend was embarrassed for me and angry at the “offender.”


I kept saying it didn’t matter and it was fine, but she didn’t listen.
What I don’t understand is how people can get so offended when they are misgendered or they perceive one of their friends is misgendered, but they feel not one whit of remorse when they knowingly misgender transgender people.
Note: she doesn’t know I’m trans so it’s not like she was being a jerk, just to make that absolutely clear.

THIS happens to me at work all the time… a patient may misgender me as male (as in the eyes of my coworkers, who are all straight cisgender females, and view me as such, as well). My coworkers will defend me as female to these “culprit” and I keep saying… “Hey…. it’s alright. It doesn’t matter…I kinda LIKE it!”

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How is testosterone harvested?

Where do the labs which produce testosterone gels and injections and pills get the testosterone to begin with? Is it synthetic? Does it come from animals or cadavers? Is there a line formed outside with men being paid to donate as there is for donated blood and plasma? I just was curious… I haven’t been able to find info regarding this via google, and wondered if anyone even knows.

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When did I first discover I was GQ…


From the time I was very little/young, I had issues with a lot of things. I began thinking about some very complex things for someone my age. I was born female, but looked like a little boy, if I wasn’t wearing a dress. Often times, I’d be mistaken for being a boy when I was at the store with my dad, or other times when I was wearing pants and a polo shirt. I would always correct those who made the mistake and say that I was a girl, but I’d also say that it doesn’t matter whether I am a boy or a girl, that I am good at whatever I am good at. In school, I hated that certain things were labeled as “girls” things or “boys” things… like push-ups, and how you did things, etc. I was always saying that things that were labeled “girls” stuff always seemed less than what “boys” things were, and I used to push for equality. Then, as I got older, I realized that even with society shaping certain genders into expressing themselves the way it was expected, that I held many characteristics that resembled “male”, however, I can honestly say that I have never wanted to be male completely. I LIKE my female body, but I also LIKE to present as male sometimes. I like that people are sometimes confused about my gender, and when I am with friends who question someone elses gender I always say, “Why does it even matter?” Why are we so hell bent on identifying people with labels that sets them aside from someone else… “oh, you’re a male” “You are gay” “you are butch” etc… I don’t care specifically what gender people are or orientation. I like the fact that men can have some feminine qualities and vice versa, but I wish that those qualities wouldn’t have to be identified by gender. To me, qualities are qualities regardless. It wasn’t until about five years ago, that I was introduced to the word genderqueer, and thought “wow, there’s a label for me too!” I also considered transitioning at that time…not specifically to change my gender, but to perhaps LOOK more in the middle but decided that really wasn’t the road for me. I prefer the middle here where I am. I am a mom, a sister, a friend, “that guy in the store”, “sir”, and many more things. I like being fluid in that I can wear a skirt and put on eye makeup one day, and then bind and pack and wear a suit the next, but feel completely comfortable in both, while also the next day just wearing a combination of both…

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